On Innocence, Growth, Consequences and Why I Hate It

There was a bit of an incident yesterday. Ty and his posse (affectionately named) had gone down to the ponds about half a mile from our house. I knew they were going, not a big deal. They go all the time.

Then I got a phone call that went like this, "Hey mom.... So we are at the ponds..... And we sort of lit a firework.... Ummmm ya. H wants to talk to you."  heart pounding H speaking a million miles an hour "So we've already called 9-1-1 and they're coming and we tried to put it out and it started on a brick but it jumped off and then" "H! Stop! Are you guys safe?!" "Yeah we are moved back but don't know what to do." I asked how big it was. "Probably 60 feet..." I grabbed Carter and jumped in the car drove down and met them at the gate. *It was at this point I realize Carter doesn't have shoes on. Wouldn't be bad except all the star thistle...and they were a good 1/4 mile from the parking lot. Ug he is heavy.*  The boys had run down and met me. We walked back to the fire. It was so big. I said a prayer of thanks they were okay. It was so big!  

By the time I got there one of the boys was on the phone with his dad. He was sobbing. I could hear his dad yelling how he was going to jail and a bunch of cruel hurtful names. That's when the shock wore off and the anger kicked in. The kid is already terrified and he is 10 for crying out loud. Parents your job is to protect your kids not make them hate themselves!  I don't care how angry/scared you are you are the adult! I took the phone from the kid and told the dad I was with them, we could hear sirens and the firefighters would be there soon and then I would take the boys to talk to the Sheriff for statements. I told him they were safe and I'm glad he remembered that was the most important thing.  I hung up and hugged the kid who suddenly looked so small.  I looked him in the eye, reminded him to breathe and told him how proud I was he called 9-1-1 and how very important it was to me they were safe.

The fire trucks got there. The wind kicked up. We had to back up. It moved so fast. We returned to the car, found out where the Sheriff was and drove to meet them.  It was two Fire Marshall's that started with, "If you lie to me I will throw you in Juvie right now." Then he softened up. He explained he had to read them their rights. Ug. They interviewed them one at a time. *side note:  Because I find humor in most things when one of the boys was being interviewed and was spilling his guts I was reminded of Chunk on Goonies.*  We learned a lot of things.  Things like kids under 16 aren't even allowed to have matches/lighters on them or it is a felony.  Things like the one boy who was with them but ran away as soon as the fire started could very well be in more trouble than the rest.  Things like boys who make stupid decisions aren't bad kids, just boys who make stupid decisions and sometimes they end up becoming Fire Marshall's   Things like once the other dad pulled up with rage in his eyes the Fire Marshall's are there to also protect the kids.  Things like it could have been a lot worse.  A LOT WORSE. If it would have started 10 minutes later they wouldn't have been able to get it stopped before the wind pushed it into the houses.  If it had been on the other side of the road we would have been responsible for paying for the emergency personnel who responded.  An acre and a fourth was burned.  No one was hurt.  No businesses were evacuated.  No homes were affected.  It could have been a lot worse.  

After an hour and a half in the 3:00 heat they sent us home with each boy holding a "ticket" which will be followed up with a meeting with a Juvenile Judge to determine what happens next.  With the boys away the Marshall told the parents most likely it would be a warning. 

So I've told you the story as therapy for me.  Now to the part that caused the title of this post.  The hardest thing for me as a parent is watching my child loose pieces of their innocence.  Loose pieces of their childhood.  I recognize this is a part of growing up that is necessary to make them adults.  However, as a parent I want to protect and preserve this about them.  

After we got home and had a long talk Tyler, hurt so deeply with his decisions, whispered, "I just wish I never did it.  I wish I could go back in time and make better choices."  I hate the fact that now he knows and recognizes remorse and regret so deeply.  We talked more and I told him I had bad news, "This won't be the last dumb thing you do.  You're going to make a lot of dumb choices in your lifetime.  What I hope more than anything is you learn how to learn from this, never do it again and are able to forgive yourself."  

We practice Love and Logic in our parenting so the best thing I knew for me to do was let him suffer the natural consequences and learn his hard lessons that come with it.  We talked about what could have happened.  He got physically pale.  We talked about the seriousness of it.  We talked about choices and consequences and how even when you make the choice you don't choose the consequences.  We talked about how our actions affect others.  He understands now.  More than he ever did.  He lost a piece of his childhood which he can never go back.  He will be a better man once this is over, but never again the child he was.  

Then I showed him President Monson's talk about starting the fire when he was 8.  "Even the prophet made stupid mistakes, think of what a great talk this will make when you're the Prophet..."  

I have a friend who says "Tragedy plus time equals humor."  Apparently Tyler still needs time.  He can think about it while he weeds the yard.  He'll have plenty of time to think...

Next Birthday... It's a big one!

Next chronologically is Tyler.  **Side note... there will probably be another post about his upcoming birthday party since he hasn't had it yet.  Thaaaaaat's right.  Trying to give him more to talk to his future therapist about...**

It was a big birthday for him.  He turned 12 which means he received the Priesthood.  He now passes the Sacrament at church and holds Priesthood Keys he did not before.  Pretty amazed at him and what an incredible young man he is turning into.  

This year I was able to spend a lot of time with him (see homeschool posts) and am proud to be his mom.  He is a great kid with a gentle heart and a funny sense of humor.  I love his wit and that he can keep up with my bantering.  

We were blessed to have family come to attend his Priesthood Ordination.  I didn't do so well with picture taking except the morning, I missed Gordon, Kristi and Brian but got everybody else... except Dee and Tyler and myself and Tyler.  Ha ha.  Hope somebody else got them...

Here are the awesome Grandparents.  So happy they could come!

Now here is a secret about Tyler.  He isn't great at pictures.  He's a very handsome guy but something about cameras makes his face go all wonky.  I took  probably 10 pictures to get the two bigger ones.  The "normal" ones.  The others are for your enjoyment.  Ha ha.

This is one of my favorites.  Getting fussed over by his Grandma's before heading to church.  

Here are my beautiful kids.  Growing too fast!

But here are how they really are...

Birthday Girl Turned 9

I have a few to catch up on.  I'm going to start with little Miss Ellie who turned 9 (a month and a half ago...)  She had a family birthday this year but her friend got to come over for the fun.  

 We had the brilliant idea to surprise her with a kitten.  When I say brilliant I mean... what were we thinking? Then you see the look on her face and remember why.  

She ended up with the name Razamatazz but we usually call her Raz or Dang Cat!

A few things about Ellie this year:

• She is moving from 3rd Grade to 4th Grade which means she moves over to the big school this year.  She has loved Elementary but is so excited to move on up.  
• She LOVES to read.  Especially animal fact books.  
• She wants to be a "Wild Animal Vet" when she grows up.  Like in the jungle.  Like with cheetahs.  My only saving grace on this is she HATES bugs which might keep her away from the jungle but while discussing this she said, "I guess I could just be a Marine Biologist since there aren't many bugs under water."  Yeah, cuz sharks are way better than cheetahs.
• She is so kind hearted and always is concerned about those around her.  
• She is my best sleeper.  She loves to sleep and has no problem going to bed when tired.  When she is over-tired I call her "Ella" her evil twin.  She get's that from her father... ha ha ha!
• She doesn't like girly things but loves Star Wars, Jackie Chan and all things animals.  
• She really wanted a snake, but the cat will have to do.
• She loves to be happy.  I often tell her if I were to rename her I'd give her another middle name of Joy.  She makes everyone around her happy when she is happy.  She lights up a room.
• She has the most beautiful laugh of anyone I know.

To the other side of the country and back! - Be warned - LOOONG post

McKenna and I went on a crazy trip. I've been trying to post about it for a week now and hopefully will get it all down before I forget important pieces. We have been planning on this trip for a year now. The school does a 7th - 8th Grade "New York/DC" trip every two years. We knew it was coming. McKenna had to earn half her money to go, the other half would be her 8th Grade graduation gift. (Yep, she graduated. Once this post is out of the way those pictures will follow!)

I called it a crazy trip...because it was. We met at the school at 2am to take a bus to the airport by 4:30. While checking in and waiting and standing around a kid in our group passed out. Locked his knees, hadn't eaten. Boom. He was fine, btw, just not the best way to start!  We made it on the plane and flew to DC. Our luggage was loaded on a bus and we went directly to the Smithsonian. Phew! Here is what I learned from that. There are actually 20 Smithsonian's. They are all very big. We went to the Natural History (think Night at the Museum) and explored just a portion of it.

In this collage the 1st pict is McKenna with a teacher Mrs. Nunn who also loves "Wicked!" They are in front of Elphaba's dress. Below are the original Ruby Slippers, & the middle bottom is an original Harry Potter Cloak. You can see how excited they were. The crystal ball one is because it makes me laugh every time. That is McKenna's face but it took some time to get it just right. After I finally got the picture the guy behind her was bending down trying to figure out what she was looking at for so long. His face was huge and didn't even know it. Ha ha.

We went to see the Holocaust Museum.  No pictures.  So many emotions.  Can not understand.  Never will.  But I will also never forget.  I am glad we went - amazing stories, especially the survivor stories.  Stories of hope and bravery.  Of family.  Of sacrifice.  Unforgettable.

After dinner we went memorial sighting.

** Quick side note: I had decided to find something everyday that made me happy. Like spontaneous joy happy. The first evening in DC it was the surprise of fireflies. Totally forgot about those and chased them around like a crazy West-coaster.**

These pictures below are all from the Lincoln Memorial.  The one on the right are the girls in front of the Washington Monument (too bad you can't see it, lol) which was under scaffolding from the earthquake a few months ago.  Lincoln was so cool to see.  A different feeling there, the only way to compare it is like a beloved Grandfather watching over the city.

Next was the Vietnam Memorial (top and bottom picture on left).  There was so much symbolism with all the monuments I never realized.  The Vietnam Memorial is built into the hillside representing a scar in the land.  What struck me most there was when McKenna was running her hand along the wall of names, of people, realizing how many were lost she questioned, "Has all the work been done for all of them?  We have so much to do!"

The bottom right and top pictures were from the Korean War Memorial.  They call it the Forgotten War, which I suppose is true since I had not even known about this memorial until then. It was my favorite.  It spoke to me.  There is a winding path with larger than life statutes standing looking over the path.  Where ever you are on the walk one of the soldiers are looking at you.  Along the backside of the path is the granite wall (top) and instead of names the artist used actual pictures of soldiers who served and died in the war.  I'm a visual person.  There were over 2500 faces.

The middle right is the Martin Luther King Memorial.  It is one of the most recent built and it, too was awesome.  Behind him is a wall of stone which his memorial is carved out of signifying his work moving forward.  It is also an unfinished statue signifying his unfinished work.  

Next day in D.C.  First stop White House.  This was the only day the humidity was awful.  Blech.  They can keep that!  Saw the snipers on the roof.  Awesome.  *This whole time McKenna and I had been playing "Slugbug"  "PT Cruiser for a bruiser" and "Cop for a bop"  We had to stop in DC because there were SO MANY COPS we had huge bruises!**

Next was Arlington Cemetery.  Hot and muggy remember.  Probably were a lot of cool things to see there but the only one that stands out was the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  Wow.  Courage, honor and bravery.  The best of our country is definitely summarized there.   Look it up on YouTube if you don't know it.  

Next was the Capitol Building.  Pretty.  Cool.  The California statue inside is Ronald Regan.  That was cool, but the part I thought was cooler is the base of his statue is actual pieces of the Berlin Wall.

After all that and dinner and stuff it started to rain.  When I say rain I actually mean TOTAL downpour.  Soaking.  We were on the bus, only one stop left - the Jefferson Memorial.  Can't see it from the road.  Did I mention DOWNPOUR?!  Our guide asked the kids how badly they really wanted to go.  There was grumbling.  The teacher was pooped, the kids were pooped.  Now remember above when I said I had decided to do something FUN everyday?  What is more fun than dragging 36 people through the rain?!  I said, "I'm going!  I won't be back til who knows when.  Let's go!"  And guess what?  It was so FUN!!  The stairs looked like a waterfall.  I tried to take a picture but the reflection of the torrential rain doesn't show it well enough.  The sign says, "Caution Slippery Conditions"  HA HA HA!

This one is for James.  :)

Then off to New York!!!  We went to the Rockefeller Center and the views are from the "Top of the Rock" as they called it.  New York was crazy.  So Much Noise.  So Many People.  I was having trouble tuning it all out and became so overstimulated it was ridiculous.     

Next day we started at John Lennon's "Strawberry Fields" which is an awesome - and unexpected for me - memorial.  It's one of the entrances to Central Park and it was beautiful.  Very fitting I also thought.  Our awesome tour guide was spouting all these dates and facts and important events throughout the park.  I caught things like, "That's where Avenger's was filmed.  That building was where Ghostbusters was filmed."  (Bottom picture.)  Ha ha, maybe that's why I had so much trouble in History class.   

We went to the MET Art Museum.  Honestly I could have spent all day there.  We only had 1 1/2 hours so we had to pick what was most important to us.  For me it was seeing an actual Monet and Van Gough in person.  A.W.E.S.O.M.E.  We walked all over the city and finished the night with the Broadway play Newsies.  On Broadway.  Yep, that's right.  It rocked.  Then Time Square.  You can have it.  Yeesh.

Almost done.  So impressed you're still with me!

Collage of the rest of New York.  Top right the ferry past Statue of Liberty.  She was damaged from the Hurricane and was under repair but we got to see her and she is pretty dang amazing. Middle top pict is one of the new World Trade Center Buildings.  Biggest building in NY right now.  400 feet taller than the last one.  Super symbolic of not just New York's stubborn attitude, but of the country and it's unbeatable healing.   Top right: just a fraction of the people on Time Square on a Wednesday night.  Why?!  Middle left:our guide and other crazy boys on the Subway.  Middle right:  Fun for the day.  There was a guy who was dressed like Waldo.  I had McKenna sneak a picture of me by him.  Ha ha.  Bottom left:  Zombie Apocalypse on the bus.  Was funny when driver SLAMMED his brakes and kids and cell phones flew everywhere.  Bottom right:  Matching sweatshirts from ChinaTown.  Last minutes in New York.

This was actually our 1st picture of the trip as we boarded the bus @ 2:30 AM.  Didn't know what to expect.  Almost talked myself out of it 1000 times.  Out of my comfort zone.  Away from my family.  Worried about food issues, kids, all the other stuff I worry about.  However, I am so glad I went.  I wouldn't have traded that time with my daughter on our adventure for anything!

April fun and a hike

My "baby" turned 14.  Not sure how that happened so quickly, but it did.  We did a boy-girl party (she invited 5 girls, and 8 boys - LOL).  There was some swimming, some water balloons, some minute-to-win-it games, pizza and a movie.  Good times had by all.  They were a great group of kids and a great time was had by all.  I still can't believe she's 14.  *sigh*

Also in April my "adopted little brother" got home from his mission.  Jordan served in Denver Colorado and returned home even better than when he left.  It has been awesome to have him back!

We had been pretty plugged in lately and needed a get-away.  Last Sunday after church we packed a picnic and headed out to McCloud waterfalls.  Beautiful hike, great time together and no crowds.  Love the un-plugged family time.

And this picture because it makes me laugh.   Can you read the board?

Spring! Hooray!!

Spring has come.  I love Spring!  This year for Easter my two youngest and I drove to Utah for my nieces blessing.  Look how beautiful she is!!  Baby V almost 5 weeks old.  So cute, happy and sweet.  Ellie couldn't get enough of her (neither could I.  Carter, however, was fine playing with the boy cousins far away from the baby...)

Unfortunately I didn't get pictures of her in her blessing dress, but here is a cute one of Marybeth and baby V. ((Love))

After the blessing food and family there was an Easter egg hunt (I know it's small but can you see the amazing cupcakes Suzanne made?) and all the cousins and extended kids had a great time.  It was fun to see people I haven't seen in a long time.  

Later that evening when all was wound down, the kids got to play with the leftover dry-ice from Grandpa's famous home-made rootbeer.  

We played with cousins, went to dinner with Dennis and Jesica (and boys) and Heather and Andy; played more with cousins.  I loved seeing my sisters a lot.  Would love to do that weekly.

Next we went to Grandma Pedersen's for a cousin get-together and Easter egg hunt with Grandma and Grandpa Treadway.  After the candy joy we went to the park and enjoyed the sun and fun.

We had one last hurrah for lunch.  Love these ladies!  (And Zamiel, of course!)

Fast forward : Plays

I said it would be Christmas next.  I lied.  I'm going to fast forward a while and do Spring because it just happened and then I'll be all caught up.  Ha ha ha!

February and March mean plays here.  First was "Captain Bree and her Lady Pirates" with McKenna being Captain Bree.  It was a fun play and she blew me away.  She was awesome on stage and even the last night when she started losing her voice, was amazing.  After months of practicing and hard work we were all happy the play was here.  

Mom and Dad were able to come out and see the play since she had the lead and it was the last one with this performing group (she moves up to High School next year, gulp.)

We are so proud of her and so thankful we live in a place they can participate in the arts.  We love seeing her talents!  (P.S.  The pineapple is tradition.  You know the show Psych?  That's why...)

Next up (two short weeks later) was "Little Mermaid" which Ellie was King Triton's Seahorse.  She had exactly one line (although she was in most of the songs) but her costume was AWESOME.  The pictures don't do it justice but trust me when I say the costumes were amazing.    Again, so thankful we live in a place the kids can participate in the arts!

Ready to watch the show!

 After the show.

 So I'm not all caught up but am going to stop there for now.  You'll have to come back to find out what fun things we did for Easter.  :)