My last post was about Halloween. I actually posted it in November. SO. Since November 4th here is what has happened. I might even use bullet points for effect. Wooooooo.
- November 6th-9th Ellie was in a Cinderella production. She was a super cute mouse (turned into a horse) and a townsperson. It was fun and exhausting and all the exciting things that comes with a production.
- November 7th McKenna had soccer tryouts for High School. She made it. She is a starting Forward Center. Yep she's a Freshman.
- November 9th Ellie had a soccer District Cup (two games Saturday then finished Sunday without Dee and Ellie *makes for hard choices* but their awesome team got 2nd place. Super great season. Amazing team and coaches!
- Same day - Tyler had a flag football Turkey Bowl. Two games. Same times. Different cities. Literally. Crappy coach. Not as great of an ending... BUT he still had fun.
- November 10th - Diantha was called as a Relief Society teacher at church 2nd Sunday's. I am also a Sign-Language interpreter for our Deaf Ward a couple Sunday's every month. Relief Society is terrifying LOL. I'm learning, though. I also bring cookies because I once heard the wise words of "They may not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel." Mother Teresa I believe. Cookies make you feel happy. Just ask Cookie Monster.
- November 11th - McKenna has High School Musical "Shrek" tryouts. She is a Dulock Dancer and Choir member. This will last a few months and is after soccer practice. Basically she leaves for Early Morning Seminary at 6:15 AM and gets home at 8:00 PM. Sheesh again. Life of a High Schooler.
- November 16th - Diantha heads on a super fun Temple Trip with friends from our Deaf Group. Able to attend the ASL Session for the 1st time and was amazed and humbled at how much I learned. Great reminder of Heavenly Father's love and a bit of foreshadowing of things to come since the thing that was "shouted" to me the most was my shoulders are strong enough for my trials specifically.
- November 17th - Diantha's birthday. Whoa. When did they stop being fun and start being "how can I possibly be that old??" Dee did get me a longboard, though, and that helped me think I can still be young at heart if nothing else!
- November 18th - Dee flies to Chicago for a business trip for the week. He calls that Wednesday and says there is a lot of restructuring in the company and there are positions open in Utah. Kind of mentions it off hand. We talk more and decide to pray about it. *Side note - our move to California was always a "temporary move." All our immediate family except his brother and family are in Utah. Every other time we have prayed about it it was a "Your work here isn't done." or "Not yet" or "Quit asking" or "Suck it up." Okay i may have taken a bit of liberty there but you get the idea. This has gone on for 12 years so my hope honestly wasn't high. Mostly because the disappointment hurts. Also two important things to note here, the week before it dawned on me that above said brother in law and family (our closest family) is moving soon AND my friend Jordan who has become like family and whom I rely on to help me with driving kids and what-not also was going to leave January 3rd.* So, as Dee was praying about it in Chicago and I was praying about it in California I admit my prayer wasn't humble. It was slightly angry and panicky and sad. I've described before my relationship with my Heavenly Father. He let's me be me and even when I'm like that - praying in anger or pain or fear - he still loves me. He listens to me, sends me comfort after I get it all out, and answers my prayers in his due time, and loves me despite my faults. Sidetracking again. I gritted my teeth and prayed (angrily) "You always have given me family when I need it. You always have sent someone to rely on because I can't do this without them and we both know it. Now everyone I call family, everyone I can turn to without judgement is leaving. You have to send me someone else if they are all leaving! Either send me someone or let us move!" Remember, He loves me anyway. And He has a sense of humor...
- November 19th - Dee says he feels good about it and he's going to throw his hat in.
- November 20th - He gets home from Chicago and
- November 21st - we work on his resume and submit it.
- November 23rd - He is contacted and they say they don't really even interview for transfers. He has the job. He starts January 2nd. In Utah. hahahahahahaha....*GULP*
- Other stuff happens and it's pretty much a blur. We tell the kids the next Sunday evening. Literal weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. It was hard. It was painful. It was sad. Tyler was so angry. We expected all of that. Shock is a brutal thing. What I didn't expect was when McKenna says, "I'm okay with this. We had a lesson today about managing stress in Young Women's today. I wasn't really paying attention but then the Spirit whispered I needed to pay attention. I knew, I knew, we were moving then." Tender mercies. Tyler was still so angry. We'd talk as much as possible. He is like a vault, holding everything in until he explodes. Jordan (who moved around a lot as a kid) ended up taking him on a walk a few days later. He explained to him he wished he had prayed about it. Used the gospel and priesthood and what he knows now. He knows it would have been easier to move if he had known for himself it was what his family was supposed to do instead of just being angry that he was forced to move. Tyler hasn't talked about what happened after that - but his anger is gone. Tender mercies. We let them decide if we should all move in January or if the kids and I should stay until June when school is out. We had already discussed this and knew what we would do, but wanted them to feel in control of something.
- December 4-7th - Our church does a program called "Journey to Bethlehem" which is a play. Each room is something out of the story of Christ's birth (Shepard's, Angels, King Herod, Wise Men, etc.) and Tyler was a servant of the Wise Men and the girls were in the Angel room. Awesome and amazing and I'm so happy they got to participate. I also interpreted for the first time in ASL and it was a great experience.
- December 18th - Carter's Kindergarten Christmas Program. Geez those guys are cute.
- December 20th - Begin Christmas break for the kids. Let the playing begin. We originally were going to head to Utah for Christmas but with everything happening so fast, it was just too much. That stunk too because I have a niece and a few nephews that are little little now and will be so big by the time I get to see them. Not to mention we missed our two nephew's baptisms. BUT I am determined that is all we will miss from now on!
- December 23rd - I finally get started on the blanket I'm making for Jordan. Nothing like deadlines to make me actually do something. Turned out awesome I must admit. As long as he doesn't look too close.
- December 24th - Christmas Eve dinner. Fancy candles and dishes, ham and potatoes, the works including sparkling apple juice. We have a lady in our ward join us whose husband was in the hospital. We were happy she could come. We read Luke 2. We had family prayer. Grateful, peaceful, reflective, happy. We opened Christmas PJs then scurried off to bed.
- December 25th - 4:45 AM giggling in the hall. Whispering. My favorite moments. They have to wait until 5 to get up so I laid there counting my blessings I was so overwhelmed with. Christmas was wonderful. A whole post in its self.
- December 27th - Dee, Carter and Tyler head for Sacramento to see a football game with extended family. It was in San Francisco so we didn't want to hang out at an empty house while everybody was gone. They had a great time except a transportation issue, Gordon getting hit by a car, and BYU losing.
- December 28th - We head down to Sac and get to see our newly returned nephew missionary from Italy BEN. It was SO fun seeing the boys together. Love those guys! We had a great time with Dee's parents, Heather and Andy, Gordon and Kristi.
- December 29th - Ben's homecoming talk. Was one of those moments where he was giving a great talk and I am bawling because I know it was for me. I was so touched, again, by Heavenly Father's mercy and love and his sometimes gentle reminders of those things.
- December 30th - Came home. Reality hits. Dee is packing. Jordan came over. For the last time here our whole family was together.
- December 31st - "Dee's Day" We told him anything he wanted to do we would do. We went for a walk in the morning (beautiful weather 70ish) by the river. We went and saw a movie. We went out for dinner. He gave us all Priesthood blessings. Powerful and much needed to hear. Humbling and strengthening.
- January 1st - Dee moves to Utah.
- January 2nd - Jordan moves to Idaho.
- January 3rd (today) - We are still kicking. They both made it safely. It's bizarre because I am happy to move near family. I love many things about where we live (yes, weather and friends are at the top of the list). It's knowing our lives will never be the same. It's NOT knowing what will happen, where we will live. It's missing friends. It's living in snow *blech*. It's the unknown, change and uncontrollable circumstances that is causing the fear. It's not knowing how in the world I will do the next 6 months. It's the lessons I know I have to learn but do.not.want.to. Lessons like not doing everything myself and asking for help. Sounds simple. It's not. Lessons like simplifying. I can't do everything and if I don't stop trying to I'll burn out. Lessons like let things go. I can't control most things, yet I stress myself out with worry. I recognize all of this, but have a long way to go.
So that is the end of the tale so far. I did hear a lady at the store today talking to another lady say, "Well you know bad things always come in threes. Just when you think it's over your car will break down or your house will burn down or something!" I wanted to punch her. Guess I'd better write that on the "Lessons I need to learn" list. There are many of them.
A couple of extra prayers would be appreciated. Look at me asking for help. yay me.
